I Corinthians 4:13

"and we toil, working with our own hands; when we are reviled, we bless; when we are persecuted, we endure; when we are slandered, we try to conciliate; we have become as the scum of the world, the dregs of all things, even until now." I Cor 4:12-13, NASB

I read this passage today in the midst of some strife in my workplace. (Whether the problems at work are factual or products of my over-active imagination is not my point right now.) I glanced over this passage while at work. I had to read it again because when I first read it, I understood nothing but a bunch of words without meaning. As I read it a second time, one word in verse 13 stuck out. The NASB uses the word "conciliate." In the margin, the word "console" is printed as a reasonable substitute. The word caught my attention enough that I wanted to look up the dictionary definition. Here is what I read, "1. to overcome the distrust or hostility of; placate; win over: … 2. to win or gain … 3. to make compatible; reconcile. 4. to become agreeable or reconciled." It says that a synonym is the word "appease."

So what does this mean? An easy answer is that we should strive for gracious living. Unfortunately, I find this, my first response to be quite shallow and in danger of not even scratching the surface of the issue. Digging deeper, I find more significant answers, but to put it mildly, I do not like what I see. I am continually appalled at how Scripture teaches believers to not just endure others when they are angry, confused or distrustful but to assist others through their problems; especially when all the negative stuff flies in the direction of the believer! It is simply impossible! Not only do I not want to, but I can not even fathom how I would begin to help someone who is mal-tempered! Enough complaining, let me look further into what is said for something encouraging…

Glossing over all the depth found around this word, I wanted to focus specifically on the word "conciliate." I finally looked up the word in its original language, and I was dumbfounded. Amidst all of Paul's other words and ideas in this letter, the word that caught my attention is transliterated from the Greek as "parakaleo." This particular word has fascinated me each and every time I have looked at it. In this particular passage, the word is used as a verb. It has the imagery of coming along side another to offer assistance and encouragement. As I consider the image, I picture Jesus as he spoke to the crowds saying, "Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." (Matt 11:29-30). What Paul is explaining is the very embodiment of love! Becoming "the scum of the world," Paul defends himself by saying that when someone talks bad about him, (according to the words used) he goes to that individual and seeks to win him over. I say "love" because it truly is a selfless act to go to someone who is (to use his words) "slandering" you and try to relieve the angst residing in their mind and heart (which is, by the way, directed at you) so they can be free from the mental and emotional stress behind their slander. Have you ever gone to someone who is angry at you or distrusts you? If you have, you'd understand why I continue to be appalled at how I am taught to react in these extremely volatile situations! I just can't see How I am supposed to do it!

I guess I shouldn't be too bent out of shape, Jesus promised to send the Helper, the "Paraklete." In Jesus' physical absence, the Spirit comes alongside and within me to "consiliate" with me, so I may "console" others. Wow...such a wonderful thought! I'm thinking of the many, many areas I could put that lesson to use in my life...

Now, if only I could remember it...

Oh, God, I need help!

"The Calling to Vocational Ministry"

The past few weeks, I've been seriously considering my "station in life," as a co-worker puts it. By saying that, I mean the current situation in which I find myself in life. Despite the many things I am fortunate enough to have, I find myself dissatisfied. Thinking about when this discontentment began, I can confidently say that it began 9 years, 7 months, 2 weeks, 3 days, 18 hours ago, give or take a year and some change. It was then that I resolved to stop going down the path I was going and change tracks. To fill in some detail, I was in college and had been a Christian for around 3 years. I had been awe-struck with the Bible and found myself reading it for hours at a time. Convinced that God had called me out to be a leader in His church, I changed my major to Religion and began pursuing some form of ministry. Biblical Philosophy and Protestant Theology quickly became my favorite areas of study. Missionary work also facinated me, and I took small steps that direction to "test the waters." Two week-long spring break mission trips to Charleston, West Virginia; one summer in Greenville, South Carolina; one summer in Managua, Nicaragua; and one semester in Martinsville, West Virgina later, I still found myself facinated with missions. I loved where I was, what I was doing and the life I was living, so I figured I was on the right track. I loved it so much, that I made a promise to God that I would never work in the secular world again. Even so, I was very careful not to say that I was "called into the ministry." With my love for theology and my desire to live in a foreign culture, I had no desire for the traditional ministry role of pastor, so "calling to vocational ministry" was not an issue. After my semester in West Virgina, I had close to two months before the semester started at college. I was invited by a pastor friend of mine to temporarily serve alongside him as a temporary associate pastor. Excited about the possibilities, I jumped on the opportunity. The experience was a nightmare. Shaken, I resolved to stop doing the things I was doing. With 3 semesters left before I graduated, I figured that I needed to begin looking for a "real" job that would actually pay enough to begin repaying the enormous debt I had accrued in student loans. I tried hard to forget my promise to God and the fulfillment I had experienced in those 3 years. My discontentment began. Now, close to 10 years later, I am looking back to see what happened. My conclusion is this: I stopped pursuing my dreams of being a missionary (ministry) and started living a life of self-proclaimed mediocrity and discontentment. It has been a long 10 years, but I am grateful that God is finally making me come to terms with myself and face my guilty conscience. Yet a big question remains, "Was I ever called to the ministry?" or more appropriately, "Was I called to be a missionary?"

16AUG07

"Therefore, I was not vacillating when I intended to do this, was I? Or what I purpose, do I purpose according to the flesh, so that with me there will be yes, yes and no, no at the same time? But as God is faithful, our word to you is not yes and no. For the Son of God, Christ Jesus, who was preached among you by us-by me and Silvanus and Timothy-was not yes and no, but yes in Him."

II Corinthians 1:17-19, NASB

Paul is defending himself and his integrity in the passage above. It is amazing how God arranges things so that the passage I've been thinking over the past few days finds its way into a devotional that I get e-mailed to me! I've been thinking mostly of the "yes, yes" and "no, no" thing. In the New Testament, I have found this teaching three times: Matt 5:37, here in II Corinthians and James 5:12. The focus of my meditations has been how my life does not have that kind of integrity (or stability). I understand that both stability and integrity is possible, but that truth is not the point of these meditations. Paul defends himself for not doing the things which he planned to do. Knowing that Paul is defending his actions prove to me that his change of plans is not an evil thing. Of course, I cannot conclude that because Paul made plans and went back on them, I can also. But what of my making plans? Invariably, when I plan, something always comes up that will cause me to change something from my original intent. It is wrong not to plan. It is also wrong for me to plan and demand that those plans be played out exactly as I planned them. Such is the course of my life. I cannot seem to make my yes be yes and my no be no. I will make a definite statement, and there is always something (or someone) that will find its way in to prove it (or me) wrong.I think at the heart of Jesus' teachings and at the heart of Paul's defense is the condemnation of self-preservation. Paul changed his plans because he did not want to grieve the Corinthians with another visit full of grief and sorrow (2:1). His decision was made out of love for the Corinthian believers. In the other two passages, the context was in making oaths and swearing. In those passages, it is easy to understand the integrity that is condoned. In a related way, Paul defends the integrity of his decision by proving that his decision was not made out of selfishness or lack of love. He changed his plans for someone else. That is something I could stand to learn in my own life. I guess integrity is consistently making plans knowing that you may have to change them in order to prevent grieving others affected by your decisions.If only it were easier to "consider others better than myself."

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Jn 3:30