Saved? Self-Centeredness?

I've been wanting to write for close to a week about the subtle arsenic that permeates my thoughts as I live, breath and walk! My self-determination works so hard to force man-centeredness onto God as a character trait. In every moment, I have to be reminded that God is, and His ultimate goal is His own glory! In reality, the benefits for us are merely a side-effect.

Again, I recently was made aware of this... self-determination. The reflection below was triggered by a quote from the pulpit of the church I attend. It was so good that I printed it and taped it to the wall facing my desk. Despite the grammar, it is a profound question that sliced to the core of my heart. The context is a sermon on Ecc 9:1-12 titled, "Gift versus Gain in the Face of Mortality." One of the summary points was this:

"What are you hoping to be saved from?"

The more I thought about it, the more that question hurt. My mind was searching for the "right" answer, but the real answer shined a spotlight on my heart and in my life... I think I summed it up in one word. "life" To be honest, it scared me until I rationalized it to the point that it became, "life under the sun." Yet seriously, what is life other than the freedom that is given when we strive to worship and love God with (to quote a respected friend and brother in Christ) "white-hot intensity"? So, I don't necessarily want to be saved from life but from death. I want to be saved from the death that would occur when I see a Holy God face-to-face. As I consider it, I believe this fear is universal. It just may not be expressed as such. In this fear, God is not glorified. If perfect love drives out fear (and it does), and if this perfect love is made available to all (and it is), then this fear is nothing but unbelief in Christ's atoning work. It is little more than the "evil, unbelieving heart that falls away from the living God" about which the author of Hebrews is warning us. For how can God be glorified in me if I am living my life in fear and disbelief? But thankfully, He desires to be glorified! He sent his Son! Not for me, so I can be saved from my fears, but He sent his son that I may glorify Him! In that is freedom, not just for me but for all who believe! My benefit is merely a side-effect of His self-interest! He made a way that this filthy, unbelieving worm can glorify Him by being satisfied in Him!

And that I shall do.

-creto